Cruising the Hawaiian and French Polynesian Islands (Satire)
by, 02-06-2013 at 03:12 PM (3216 Views)
We just got back from a visitation in the Hawaiian and French Polynesian islands.
On the plus side the plants and birds were exotic and colorful. We had a chance to snorkel several times, and the fish had striking colors and ate bread right out of our hands. We were surrounded by so many bathtub size sea turtles and curious giant manta rays that they brushed up against us—an odd feeling especially when they snack up from behind us. Schools (gangs?) of black tipped sharks circled us over and over about 15 feet away. (We were told they don’t bite, but we were also told not long ago that Obama couldn’t win.)
We were very pleased with our cruise ship. It was relatively small and had a lot of mahogany inside—more Captain Cook than Las Vegas in style.
On the other hand it is a long way to go—a 26+ hour trip door to door from Tahiti to Florida.
Nowhere was the coral as colorful or as interesting as in the Caribbean. It was more like large, gray boulders. The bay in front of our hotel in Tahiti was obviously polluted and infested with some kind of aquatic kudzu. And it was not a cheap trip (which is my absolute favorite kind of trip.) The hotel wanted $60 apiece for breakfast, which I declined. Instead I went to the local grocery store and bought bread, a quart of orange juice and potato chips (Mom said breakfast is important) for $20. The fifteen minute taxi ride from the hotel to the airport cost $51.
(I might note here that we had a magnificent champagne lunch on the veranda of a stately turn-of- the-last-century beach hotel at Waikiki. Everything was great except we had to wait 55 minutes before they brought the food. The boss told them that just wasn’t appropriate so they tore up the bill and brought free coffee and dessert to boot. Obviously, we’d be happy to go back, but we’ll bring something to read.)
Again on the negative side it turns out, as the pictures will show, that high season does not mean dry season. Now we know what a monsoon is and have a better understanding of what Noah endured. On many days we wondered why we left the Sunshine State, but at least we can cross one more item off of our bucket list.
On balance we think Hawaii and Tahiti are well worth a visit if we happen to be in the area again (fat chance.) Otherwise, we’ll stick with Virgin Gorda in the BVI's.
By the time we got back to Florida a week ago or so (who knows anymore), we both were jet lagged, exhausted and had colds.
My husband has long been of the opinion that German beer is a panacea for whatever ails you, so we are back in Garmisch, Germany, now to recover. With luck we’ll be healthy again soon because we have to return to Florida next month.
And that’s the latest news from our home, where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking, and children are thankfully absent.
The King and I.
Honolulu - Diamond Head
Yellow billed Cardinal
Green Sea Turtle
Kauai -Napali Coast
Morea - Swimming with Stingrays
Le Meridien at Tahiti